2016

I don’t like New Years Resolutions. They always lead to disappointment.

But every year I make them anyways.

This year, though, I want to call them goals. Because they aren’t things that I want to jump into head-on and overwhelm myself, they are things I want to carry out steadily until they become second nature; part of my routine; a lifestyle.

But I don’t want to tell you about my personal “goals” for the year. I want to tell you about what I want to do with this blog!

Last year, I made a commitment to post every week, and I stuck to it (for the most part), missing only seven posts over the course of the year. To me, that’s HUGE! If you’re interested, check out the exact statistics and how much posting on a weekly schedule really boost my readership here.

So, here are some goals that you, as a reader, can look forward to on this blog in the upcoming year:

A solid theme. When I really started focusing on this blog, it started out as a sudo-advice column for college students transitioning from school into the real world. Since then, it’s slowly turned into simply a personal blog with almost a diary-type feel to it. This is going to change. In the upcoming weeks I will be looking towards focusing more on things I love to do, i.e. writing and crafting! Expect more how-to’s and useful lists.

A new website! This one might take a while. Running a blog, even one as simple as this, takes a LOT of work. I’ve put hours upon hours into this thing, and I don’t get paid to do it. Not even Google pays me. That’s how much of a passion project this thing is. I’ve been looking for a way to transition towards a multi-page site that allows me to have more than one fluid posting page. Currently, I can have multiple pages, however every page except this one is stagnant, meaning I cannot publish individual posts to individual pages. If I want to edit something on another page, I have to go in and reformat that page manually. It also means that on other pages, you can’t call up certain posts according to tags or publish dates. This makes for a serious lack of organization and optimization that I hate.

Posting changes. Fridays are great, but I’m currently debating between a Saturday or Monday morning post time. This will give me more time to get posts perfected and to you without missing my deadline.

That’s all. I’m keeping it realistic, and trying not to overwhelm myself with too many to-dos. After all, like I said, I don’t get paid for this. And I’ve already got my work cut out for me.

I would love to hear your opinions on these goals as well. If you have a suggestion or something you enjoy reading on my blog, let me know in the comments. Your input is much appreciated!

-tlc

Use Your Brain

Today I would like to write a short PSA about using your brain.  You see, in today’s world, we don’t function as a society without social media. It’s how we consume and digest information, and–scarily–how we learn to understand issues.

Particularly with presidential campaigns gearing up, I would like to ask–no, implore–you to educate yourselves on the facts before sharing info-graphs, articles, or any other biased source of information. Here’s why:

It’s easy to see something, agree with it, and want to pass it on. But if that information is not accurate, out of context, or in any way twisted to create a misconception, you aren’t doing the world any good by passing it on and getting more people to agree with your POV. In fact, you’re actually slowing down progressive change and actually may be hurting a lot of people in the process. Think of it this way:

When you allow yourself to become part of the problem by spreading stereotypes and social/cultural myths, you prevent parts of society  that you may not understand completely from getting the basic human rights that they are entitled to. Like worrying that child predators will take advantage of using opposite-gender bathrooms if laws are passed to make public restrooms transgender-friendly. John Oliver, who I recommend as a good source for getting yourself educated on all the hot-topic issues (and for a good laugh) does a really good job of explaining why this is ridiculous fear-mongering and actually holds no real substance or statistics to back it up as a real problem.

Truth be told, I am being a teensie weensie little bit of a hypocrite here; I, too, am guilty  of posting a lot of things that have no solid facts to back them up, or researching the source behind the information to make sure that the information is solid, primary source material.

So why did I feel entitled to tell you not to do it? Because I’m not perfect, I know better, and I’m working towards posting only accurate, educational stuff that I can feel good about passing on to others because it’s good information to know, not just information that I personally agree with that I would like others to know about and agree with, too.

Something I get accused of a lot is being “Too Liberal.” I often find that people get defensive because so much of the time their conservative views are on the wrong side of progress, and they worry about morality and whether or not “progress is actually good.” And here’s how I think about it: I’m not liberal or conservative. True, I tend to agree more with the liberal side of any issue, but I want what I think will create the best opportunities and safest living environments for everyone. So really, I just agree with what I either know is right, or think will work best to create what is “right”. If you have to get angry at the facts and discount the truth behind your opinions (i.e. the truth being that your opinions are not grounded in facts but in stereotypes, etc.) or call others names or get angry at them simply for disagreeing with your views–but not being able to back that disagreement up with facts–then you should really consider the validity of your own opinions. Perhaps you’ll discover that your view of the world is a little inaccurate and skewed. Or perhaps you won’t. But at least you’ll know.

So–especially as we jump into this God-forsaken 2016 presidential run–please, PLEASE think before you post. Sparks start fires. And only YOU can prevent false social media fires. (See what I did there?)

Until next time,

-tlc

DATING.

I have aptly given this post the one-word moniker accompanied by the end-all, be-all period punctuation because this is the best way to describe how this aspect of human interaction fits into a twenty-something’s life: Abrupt, obnoxious all caps with no context and a quick finish.

Okay, no to explain myself and make a little more sense…probably.

Unless you found your life partner in high school or college, dating is a giant gray cloud that hangs over all of our heads as twenty-somethings. We want to meet people, and most of us dream of meeting that one person we’ll enjoy being with more than any other, and frankly, most of us are impatient. We don’t want to have to wade through a bunch of duds to find “the one”. We want to just find “the one” and enjoy the perks of having someone who is always obligated to go to brunch with you.

At the same time, we’re not ready for commitment. We think about marriage and the first words that come to mind are “not now.” So we shy away from really, seriously dating or pursuing anyone. It’s a vicious cycle, though, because then we spend any down time we have thinking about how much we wish we had someone–but not just any random loser, “the one”–to do something exciting with, instead of being bored, sitting at home because all of our friends have plans and we don’t have any hobbies because this is the digital age and let’s face it, any time you could have learned a how to do something cool with your hands you were scrolling through Facebook and Twitter.

So then we turn to online dating because that’s easy, impersonal, and you don’t have to put pants or make-up on.

I held out for a long, long time on trying the online dating realm. I just didn’t like the idea of it–it seemed to me that you wouldn’t be able to find genuine people via dating sites because the only people (in my mind) who used online dating were weirdos who couldn’t make conversation with people in real life. And then one day, it dawned on me: I’m one of those weirdos. So I gave it a try. And I realized that it wasn’t just for weirdos, it is honestly the way that people are meeting these days. It’s the new bar. And let me tell ya, don’t go to a bar to meet people now days unless you really, really want absolutely zero commitment or investment in your time, because all people are looking for now days when they go to a bar is to get drunk with their friends.

I had a misconception about online dating, though. I thought–and here I have no idea why, maybe simply because I had zero familiarity with it–that dating apps were either for hookups, or serious daters (depending on which app you were using). And I figured that the dating app for serious daters would make meeting people extremely easy, because they’re basically handed to you on a plate, and there’s no question of whether or not their interested, because they’ve liked your profile. All you have to do is have a conversation.

Oh, was I wrong. Within the first week of having this dating app on my phone, I realized that online dating is really no different from meeting people in person, except that you know ahead of time that whoever it is you might be talking to finds you attractive, or at least, thinks there’s potential for attraction. Dozens of people will express “interest” by liking your profile, yet, for every dozen that “likes” you, only one or two will actually initiate conversation with you. And out of those one or two, maybe, MAYBE, one will respond more than once and keep the conversation going. And the likelihood of someone asking you to even meet for casual coffee or ice cream is slim. And if they do, it’s usually the person that you’ve already realized you’re not compatible with via your online conversation.

All of this simply to say that my stint with online dating has taught me one thing: There’s no easy solution or shortcut when it comes to meeting genuine people that you want to spend time with. And I still think that meeting people and making connections in person is the best way to live your life. It’s definitely difficult, because people hide behind their screens so much these days. But maybe, if we all try to get out a little bit more, and stop staring into our computers and phones 24/7, we’ll be able to make it a little bit easier on ourselves.

So go forth, my twenty-somethings, and make friends.

-tlc