What I’ve Been Up To

In the last few weeks, my life has been crazy, so as I attempt to get ahead on these posts again (I had the whole day off and I’ve spent most of it watching TV, so I guess it’s my own fault I haven’t been more proactive) I just thought I would very quickly catch you up on my life right now. So without further introduction (and sadly, zero comedic whimsies because TIME!!) here are five things that have happened in the last month:

 

#1: I got a job! I repeat: I GOT A JOB. Let the gods of employment rejoice because I GOT A JOB. Drinks on me! (Just kidding because I’m still poor and LA is still expensive. If you want to invite me out to celebrate I’ll be brown-bagging it, as per-usual.)

 

#2: The job I was working before getting a JOB (yeah, it’s that amazing) that I guess you would technically consider employment and was paying me a fair dime but I didn’t announce to anyone because it was semi-short term and also reality TV (nothing wrong with that, I just would like to work more in scripted) pretty much consumed my life day and night. 12 hour days, 5 days a week is hard.

 

#3: My car died and was resurrected. I almost had to pay $1800 to get it fixed because the Cadillac converter went out in it. Shout out to Ramy, the dealership Service Rep, who found the federal warranty that covered most of the repair costs. Yeah!

 

Also, I don’t know a single thing about cars, but why in the world does my car need a Cadillac converter? I don’t even like Cadillacs.

 

#4: I started vlogging again. I’m trying desperately to not fall into the abyss of off-again, on-again  posting, so we’ll see how well this twice-a-month thing goes. I will also attempt to set this site up in the upcoming months so that I have a page that links straight to my Youtube channel, but until then, you can check the videos out here.

 

#5: And finally, I just spent like an hour giving my roommate a crash-course in comedic musicians like Ylvis, Flight of the Conchords, and The Lonely Island. You’re welcome, Meaghan.

 

-tlc

Reasons Why I Will Never Grow Up

I’m currently 23 years old. At this point in my life, I’ve permanently (well, fingers crossed) moved out of my parents’ home, graduated from college, and am living off of the sporadic income that I’m making for myself by attempting to find grown-up work. Life is both miserable and exciting on rotation. But, try as I might to pretend that I am a full-grown adult with the maturity of someone who is independent and living on her own away from her family, everyday I am reminded why I am still, and will always be, that five year-old little girl:

1) I am still an obsessive fan of Disney. To this day, I can sing more Disney songs by heart than recognize music on the radio.

2) Even though I live a thousand miles away from them, I still talk to my parents everyday. Sometimes multiple times a day. I know a lot of people talk to their parents regularly, but somedays I call my mother and think, wow, I’m 23 years old and I talk to my mom more than I’ve ever talked to a single guy I’ve dated. This may be a problem, I’m not sure. Therapists please feel free to weigh-in in the comments.*

*I welcome all professional advice, but just know that I will not pay you.

3) Applesauce is still the greatest invention of mankind.

4) I really like sparkly things.

5) Bawling your eyes out when life is even just a little bit hard is the adult version of throwing a tantrum.

6) I still like to be the center of attention.

7) I am ALWAYS right. No, I don’t care what you say, I just am. Because it’s the rules.

8) I ALWAYS win. ALWAYS. No, you don’t get to win because I said so, and it’s the rules.

9) I need a bedtime. If I’m too tired, the world starts to fall apart. It’s not pretty. You might be thinking, “I’ve seen you groggy, it’s not so bad.” But you haven’t seen me sleep deprived. Oh-oh-oh, sir, you have not seen me sleep deprived.

10) I still think that everything I do is more work than anything else anyone anywhere could be doing. My life is hard, what can I say? Feel bad for me.

This list could go on and on, but I think you get my point. I used to think that eventually I would grow out of these things, and start being a mature, independent adult. I used to assume this would come when I finally settled into a long-term, consistent big-kid job with health and benefits. Slowly, however, I am realizing that job or not, this is who I am, and I am never growing up. I’m not sure about this, but I think Peter Pan would think I was pretty cool.

Tina Fey: A Response to “5 Reasons Why Amy Poehler Should be Everyone’s Role Model”

Yesterday I happened to read a great post by Thought Catalog’s Jessie Garber on why Amy Poehler should be everyone’s role model (if that wasn’t clear in the title).  I think it’s great, I really do.  Being a funny (well, hey, I try) girl myself, I love that people love strong women with strong senses humor and big hearts and minds.  The simple fact that a woman like Amy Poehler can have a huge fan base, mad respect and success in her craft–which, as far as success in comedy goes, is still largely a male-dominated talent–is incredible. High-five humanity.

However, being an avid Tina Fey fan, I think this opens up the perfect opportunity to point out why TINA should be everyone’s role model, because, let’s face it, she is the type of awesome that everyone NEEDS to strive for. So with that, I give you:

5 Reasons Why Tina Fey Should be Everyone’s Role Model

BOOM.  Let’s start this off right with #1:

Amy Poehler may be hilarious, but Tina Fey is HYSTERICAL. Also a fellow Saturday Night Live alum, Tina Fey wrote AND starred in Mean Girls and also starred in Baby Mama, but more importantly, has starred in films like Date Night along such comedy greats like Steve Carell. She wrote and starred in her hit show, 30 Rock, in which she played the strong, though relate-ably awkward, female head writer for a semi-successful comedy show.  The characters Tina plays, like Liz Lemon, are strong, successful women who are down-to-earth and keep a strong head on their shoulders.  Tina shows us all that you can–and should–laugh through all the ups and downs, and you should never stop working hard, and never stop pushing for your goals.

“I want to go to there” -Liz Lemon, aka Tina Fey

#2: Tina is a jack-of-all-trades, and her humor is transparent. She’s also three steps ahead. In 2011, she published her super-hilarious autobiography, Bossypants, a book which details a incredibly inspirational and uplifting story about a woman navigating her way through a male-dominated business, learning and loving along the way, dealing with her body and her body image, and balancing work, marriage, and motherhood in only a way Tina Fey could achieve.  Not to mention, she then did the recorded version for the audiobook edition herself, and it was even more hilarious.

#3: This awards speech: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vLFYs2n9Go

Need I say more?

#4: She is an inspiration for all young women. A self-proclaimed “supernerd,” Fey fearlessly admits to spending her adolescence indoors, enjoying game nights with her friends, instead of falling into the endless drama and woe that is teenage dating, or getting caught up at parties or in drug use. She realizes that most teenagers are self-conscious about their social lives, and to that she says, hey, it’s okay.  Be safe, have fun, be happy. You don’t have to party to have fun or friends.

#5: Along with several charities and causes that she supports, as well as her endless resume of comedy, acting, theater, show-hosting, and writing, Tina Fey is also a wife and mother to two daughters.  Like Amy Poehler, Tina is outspoken about body image and women’s rights.  Her talent, success, and ability to navigate the waters of business and home life should be an inspiration and role model to us all.  Move over, Amy, your best friend would like to share the spotlight.

And that’s my two-cents.

-tlc

Ten Reasons Why “The Goonies” is the Greatest Film Ever Made

I’m sorry, but before you read this post, you’re going to have to do the Truffle Shuffle. Do it.

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Do it.

Okay, now on to business.

Last night I spent a wonderful evening enjoying the company of friends and watching my favorite movie of all time, The Goonies. (which is also why I didn’t make my personal deadline of posting this on Friday)  And it got me thinking, why do I love this movie so much?  I mean, I obviously can spot movie gold when I see it, but can everyone else?  Why isn’t this movie everyone’s favorite?  Because it darn well should be.  So, to prove my point, I came up with ten really good reasons why The Goonies is the best film ever, no contest, no questions asked:

1. The soundtrack is epic.

Imagine a soundtrack chosen by Cyndi Lauper and full of bright and awesome ’80’s songs, and you have The Goonies soundtrack.  Not to mention, it was originally released on LP and cassette tape.  That’s pretty hipster.  But the real magic is in the movie score. Not only is the music full of that awesome ’80’s movie sound, but it complements the tone of the film and each scene in ways that most other films just don’t get.  And let’s just put it this way: the first time I watched the film, I was certain that John Williams had composed the score.  Kudos to you, Dave Grusin.

2.  PIRATES AND TREASURE.

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You can’t tell me you don’t love pirates and treasure.  I mean, Pirates of the Caribbean was a thing for how many years?

3.  The screenplay has teens and tweens pegged down to an art.

You can’t deny that those kids, and that dialogue was acting gold.  Come on, Brand and Andy trying to make-out every time they come within a two-foot radius of each other, despite the fact that they are lost underground, on the run from the Fratellis to save their own lives?  That’s such a teenager thing.  And Mikey, the cheerleader of the group, having such a ‘Disney innocence’ to the way he believes in the power of being a goonie.

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“It’s our time down here!” Adorbs.

4. Every character is fun.

You ever watch those movies where you just think, “There are too many people in this film.” James Bond movies are the ones that do it for me.  They just always have too many characters with zero personality, or the same character archetype constantly being reused. The Goonies is most definitely not that way.  You have loveable Chunk, who is the inevitable tag-along, constantly messing things up on accident, and being quite hilarious at it the same time.  And cute, funny Data, who brings humor and diversity to the group, as well as that typical ’80’s inventiveness that channels a sort-of Back-to-the-Future vibe (though the films came out in the same year). Then there’s Mouth and Stef, who bring all of the sarcasm and sass to the group.  And you can’t forget Sloth, the beloved, soft-hearted monster-man. No matter who it is, each character is genuine and brings more laughs to every situation.

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5. The Truffle Shuffle:

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Need I say more?

6. Josh Brolin is in it.

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7. Samwise Gamgee is in it.Image

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I know, it’s a little surprising to see how Mikey grew up, but it’s okay, because he helped save Middle-earth.

8. It’s possibly the most quotable movie, ever.

I mean, come on. Come oooonnnnnn.  <–Get it?

“Heeeeyyyy Yooouuuu Guuuuuyyyssss.”

“Booby traps. You mean, Booby traps?  Booby traps! That’s what I said!”

“First, you gotta do the truffle shuffle.”

“Andy! You Goonie!”

“Goonies never say die!”

“Down here, it’s our time. It’s our time down here!”

“Baby? Baby? Ruth!  Baby?”

“Sloth love Chunk!”

“Look at all the Rich Stuff!”

Should I go on?

9. The bad guys are awesome.

You know why I always love Home Alone and Home Alone 2 so much as a child? Because the bad guys were stupidly funny, but they put up with a lot. The Fratellis are like that too, only a little less stupid. Plus, they got spunk. And Francis has a toupee.

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“I don’t wear a hair piece!”

10. It’s a memorable homage to childhood.

Finally, the top reason The Goonies is just too awesome not to be the greatest film ever made is that the film is a celebration of everything that is great about being a kid.  In a very reality-based, modern take on Peter Pan, the film is about adventure, imagination, friendship, and never really having to grow-up.  Made with kids, for kids (it’s PG13, so maybe not little kids) and especially kids at heart, The Goonies is that little bit of childhood dreaming that you never really give up or want to forget.  Remember that end scene when the pirate ship sails away? Chills. Or how about Mikey’s speech:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NEKzLiXfuc

So great.

So there you have it, ten reasons why The Goonies is the greatest film ever made, my favorite movie, and why it should be yours, too.  If you still disagree, then you must not have ever seen the movie, and you are sorely missing out.  Go watch it. Right now.

Yours truly,

tlc

Warm Bodies: Two Beating Hearts Up

Because I have the best roommate in the world, I got a ‘coupon’ (so to speak) for Christmas simply saying, “This note entitles you to a roommate-bonding activity, on me. Tell me when and where, and I’ll make sure that I’m there!”  This is particularly sweet seeing as we are both flat broke and never find time to hang out, just the two of us.  So, a week ago we decided we needed a Girls Night Out. Of course, as is defined by the rules of a Girls Night Out, we went to see a movie.  A romantic comedy, if you will. A zombie flick.

Now, I’m not normally one to go for anything involving any depiction of blood and guts, even the movie-makeup kind. Actually, I’m not really one for romantic comedies or romance movies, either.  In fact, I’m not sure why I wanted to see this movie.  Probably just because I was certain it was entirely too bizarre a concept to actually pull off.  Man, I was wrong.

Warm Bodies was actually a good movie. A good movie!  I liked it so much I think I might actually buy it when it comes out on dvd/bluray–whatever the kids are calling it these days.  But, because I feel slightly hipster in my obligation to justify why I liked this movie so much, especially coming from the same studio responsible for the entire Twilight headache people are calling ‘film’, here are a few reasons to go see the movie and decide for yourself:

1) This film makes a way better Valentines date than any sappy old romance movie. Not only is the movie funny–helping to ease those awkward date jitters–it has well-balanced action from the get-go and doesn’t overwhelm with the ‘romantic whims’ of the storyline.  Basically, in the entire film, there is only one kiss scene, and it lasts for all of, like, eight seconds.

2) Nicholas Hoult is just fascinating to look at. I don’t want to give anything away, but there is a moment in the movie where Hoult’s character, R, has to wear makeup (a guy wearing cosmetics, whaaat?) Anyways, while indeed adding to the hilarity and presenting an almost uncomfortable resemblance to David Bowie, Hoult actually wears that blush and lipstick well.  If I had any authority on the subject, I might even venture to say he’d make an attractive Drag Queen. This is a particularly interesting picture of him wearing sunglasses and accessorizing ravens. You get three ‘Poes’ up, Mr. Hoult, one for each Raven. 

3) I’m a little sad to say that my pre-med roommate had to point this out to me, an English major and self-proclaimed literature-junkie, but the film actually made a nod to honest, good, classic literature (or, rather, Shakespearean play).  ‘R’, and ‘Julie’ are star-crossed lovers whose societies don’t allow them to be together, literally because, well, R is a zombie and eats people, and Julie is the daughter of the man trying to protect the remnants of the human race.  Got the reference yet? No? Yeah, took me a moment, too.  Would it help if I mentioned there is a balcony scene that plays out almost exactly like the one in the play, except obviously there was not sunrise similes, or wistful yearning, or comparisons to roses.  Got it now? Okay.  

I was a little worried after that that the ending would not bode well for R and Julie, seeing as how successful *coughcough* their Shakespearean counterparts are, and I really don’t want to give away the ending, so let’s just say I walked away happy.  I think the ending was well done, and though I’m sure a lot of people will have objections to the way the film went about concluding, I will just say that every once in a while you need a movie like that. It’s almost a relief. 

So there you have it. My three-reasons-to-go-see-this-movie-because-I-liked-it-and-am-hyped-up-on-chai-tea-and-decided-to-blog-about-it.  

Now, go watch it. Or don’t, that’s fine too. More Hoult for me.

Yours truly,

tlc

P.S. If you want to check out the trailer, I’ve posted that on here, as well! Just check my other posts!

GSS and the Plight of the College Kid

In honor of winter break, and finals week being over, I’ve decided to post this little gem that’s been sitting in my drafts for quite some time now. (Naturally, it’s not finished.  As you will soon see is appropriate for this post, I got a bit busy and a bit distracted by school and never went back to finish it. Now I can’t remember exactly what I wanted to say.  Ahh, that GSS. It’ll get you every time.) :

Wellllllllll just in case it hasn’t been clear, I’ve been neglecting my duties as a writer and wanna-be blogger.  It seems that in the crazy course of events I like to consider as ‘life’, blogging gets pushed to the back burner as I attempt to meet all the deadlines that come with being someone overly obsessed with following deadlines.  I sometimes like to refer to it as the “Good Student Syndrome” or, “GSS”. (Don’t worry–I’ve never actually called it that. I just made that up.)  But it does seem like a pretty good way to describe someone like me–a workaholic, over-achieving nerd who craves the idea of being on top, even when that ‘on top’ is a little letter on a piece of paper that I’m paying $20,000 a year for anyways.

Having GSS means two things: 1) Your professors love you.  Even when they hate you, they love you. You make them look good. All in all, you are pretty much the tuxedo of students.  Sleek and eye-catching, yet stuffy and slightly uncomfortable.  (Still embarrassed about all those times you thought you knew the answer?  What about those extra, unnecessary hours spent mulling over details you later found out were irrelevant to the tests? Yep, good times.)  And 2) Your social life sucks, and you know it.  Between  studying, classes, homework, studying, discussing, student groups, studying, and eating, you feel like you hardly have time to breathe, let alone actually enjoy yourself. And the times you do spend away from a text book, you’re regretting it, thinking about all the different things you need to get done and could be doing at that very exact moment.  It’s torturous, and I’ve realized it’s a double-edged sword–you see, it doesn’t matter whether you are at home working, or out with friends, people suffering from GSS are always thinking about the “Other Option”.  The “Other Option” is the dilemma designed by the collegiate educational system to mess with student psychology and break us down so that we submit.  The “Other Option” simply refers to the fact that no matter where you are, you are unhappy.  (If this were Panem, the “Other Option” would be the work of Capital hands.) The scenario goes a little something like this:

Suzy is a student studying for a final exam. She has been sitting at her desk without moving from her chair for almost three days.  However, she is taking twice as long as usual to read her textbook and notes because all she can think about is visiting with her friends. Finally, as if by God’s will, Becky calls and wants Suzy to go to the diner with her.  Suzy, after a few minutes hesitation, agrees.  And suddenly, the darkness begins.  Suzy goes to the diner, but all she can think about is how much more work she has to do.  Soon, Becky is out of conversation topics and Suzy finds herself  discussing every last  assignment Suzy has had for the past month. Becky, trying to be the good friend that she is, silently listens and nods at the appropriate time, all the while thinking, “Why did I invite Suzy again? All she ever does is talk about school work.” And before you know it, Suzy is back at her desk, beating herself up on the inside wishing she would have found something more interesting to discuss, while Becky is thinking about how she needs to expand her social group.

Hence, the “Other Option.” No matter where Suzy is, she’s thinking about the other things she could be doing. In this case, while doing homework, she’s thinking about the diner. While at the diner, she’s thinking about homework.  It’s like a terrible mental monster that moves in under your twin-sized, dorm-room bunk-bed and never leaves.  It’s terrifying, and highly unattractive.  Let me tell you, between GSS and the “Other Option,” good luck finding love. Unless, of course, your life happens to play out like a Disney fairytale come true, in this case the perimeters being that you some how get locked into the library book stacks and ‘stud’ious   Prince Charming happens to need a book for his research project in the very same section you’re trapped in and comes to the rescue…unintentionally. Let’s not forget to mention that Prince Charming is probably also suffering from GSS, which means he probably doesn’t know how to feign interest in dating anyways.

Thus, the plight of the good student.  Sure we get straight A’s, and sure we’ll probably (hopefully) be CEO’s and top executives, your children’s professors, the person who invented that new contraption in your home that you simply can’t live without, the person who discovers the cure for cancer, that guy that won jeopardy, the woman who turned the world towards feminism, and the people who negotiated peace in the Middle East, but the point is, so will those students who don’t suffer from GSS. It’s all a mind game. The whole thing is a silly little mind game.  Don’t let it get to you.

 

And there you have it.  Appropriate considering the long nights of studying we college kids just survived, no?  Do you agree?  Do you also suffer from GSS and the “Other Option”? Let me know. Maybe we can start a help-group, but only after I get all of my homework for the next semester done, okay?

 

Yours truly,

tlc