Reasons Why I Will Never Grow Up

I’m currently 23 years old. At this point in my life, I’ve permanently (well, fingers crossed) moved out of my parents’ home, graduated from college, and am living off of the sporadic income that I’m making for myself by attempting to find grown-up work. Life is both miserable and exciting on rotation. But, try as I might to pretend that I am a full-grown adult with the maturity of someone who is independent and living on her own away from her family, everyday I am reminded why I am still, and will always be, that five year-old little girl:

1) I am still an obsessive fan of Disney. To this day, I can sing more Disney songs by heart than recognize music on the radio.

2) Even though I live a thousand miles away from them, I still talk to my parents everyday. Sometimes multiple times a day. I know a lot of people talk to their parents regularly, but somedays I call my mother and think, wow, I’m 23 years old and I talk to my mom more than I’ve ever talked to a single guy I’ve dated. This may be a problem, I’m not sure. Therapists please feel free to weigh-in in the comments.*

*I welcome all professional advice, but just know that I will not pay you.

3) Applesauce is still the greatest invention of mankind.

4) I really like sparkly things.

5) Bawling your eyes out when life is even just a little bit hard is the adult version of throwing a tantrum.

6) I still like to be the center of attention.

7) I am ALWAYS right. No, I don’t care what you say, I just am. Because it’s the rules.

8) I ALWAYS win. ALWAYS. No, you don’t get to win because I said so, and it’s the rules.

9) I need a bedtime. If I’m too tired, the world starts to fall apart. It’s not pretty. You might be thinking, “I’ve seen you groggy, it’s not so bad.” But you haven’t seen me sleep deprived. Oh-oh-oh, sir, you have not seen me sleep deprived.

10) I still think that everything I do is more work than anything else anyone anywhere could be doing. My life is hard, what can I say? Feel bad for me.

This list could go on and on, but I think you get my point. I used to think that eventually I would grow out of these things, and start being a mature, independent adult. I used to assume this would come when I finally settled into a long-term, consistent big-kid job with health and benefits. Slowly, however, I am realizing that job or not, this is who I am, and I am never growing up. I’m not sure about this, but I think Peter Pan would think I was pretty cool.

New Year Post: First Post of 2015!

Written while watching Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve:

I’m starting this year out a bit differently. As I sit here watching One Direction serenade a crowd of grown men, Jenna McCarthy list celebrity divorces of 2014, and read my Facebook friends’ sentimental 2014 reflections while my parents celebrate with a bottle of champagne in my uncle’s modular in small town South Dakota, I have a feeling 2015 is going to be my coolest year yet. Here are some things I’m thinking about this #NYE:


Resolution #1: Shorter posts

Let’s face it–how many times have I set a weekly post date for this site, stuck to it all of two or three weeks, dropped off the face of the Earth, and then spent half of my next post apologizing for such a long absence? That’s so 2014.  So, to keep up with the trends, I’m going to keep things simple, short, and sweet.


Resolution #2: NO APOLOGIES

Writing is about being honest, and comedy is about being honest, so comedic writing must be about being….random! But in all seriousness, there have been a lot of things on my mind I’d like to write about, but have held back in fear of making waves amongst friends and readers and those I love. But the best lessons, the wisest observations–the things that need to be said–those come from places of vulnerability. Discretion is key, but honesty is power. So, sorry in advance.


Resolution #3: I still kind of want to meet Nick Jonas.

#sorrynotsorry I’m watching him sing on TV as I write this and the 16 year-old in me is giggling uncontrollably, so, you know.


Resolution #4: Love More in the Moment

I spent a lot of 2014 worrying. I spent a lot of 2014 crying. I spent more time missing home in 2014 than I have since I was in the third grade and discovered I was terrified of sleeping over at friends’ homes. I know, though–when I truly let myself believe it–that my family isn’t going anywhere. They want me to be happy, have adventures, and find success. And they love me whether I’m half the world away or living in their basement (probably a little bit more when I’m living half the world away). So, in 2015 I’ve made a promise to myself to explore more, find the positives, and learn to love what’s given to me.


Resolution #5: Embrace Myself

In the last half a year, I’ve met more kinds of people than I have my entire life. I’ve witnessed several different personalities and life philosophies played out, and I’ve realized something: I never want to be a grumpy old man with a crass mouth. I don’t care if it means I’d be able to afford a Malibu mansion. If I ever scream at someone over the phone, then I’ve failed at life. I’m going to embrace my polite upbringing. In fact, I’d like to learn more patience and kindness in 2015. Because I believe that knowing myself, embracing my personality traits, and standing by them makes me a stronger person. And I also believe there’s a difference between being mean and standing your ground.


So there you have it. My five resolutions for this year. There isn’t going to be any “let’s see how long I keep to these.” I will. Affirmative thinking.


I will also being working out regularly again, as my grandmother has informed me that I’ve gained weight. But let’s face it: some things never change.




Today I want to spend a little time talking about growing up and having to make decisions. You know, I think the real separation between God and man didn’t come with God casting Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden, it came when God presented Adam and Eve with the first choice (er, command?) and the naked super duo made the first decision in humanity.

This, right here, should be evidence enough that human beings are naturally poor decision makers. And yet, here lies humanity, full of choices and decisions that must be made. I bet heaven is a decision-less place–very simple, very easy.  People should never, under any circumstances, be given free reign over their own actions. That is how jackasses are born.

Am I starting to sound a bit…communistic? No? Good. Thanks, comrade.

I hate making decisions. Decision making is like a terrifying game of Russian Roulette, except you’re blindfolded, have ear plugs in, and are tied up. So in other words, decision making is attempting to do something while you have no idea what the hell is going on.

Of course, with that definition, decision making could also be like my blog…

What I really mean, though, is that life is going to chuck decisions at your head no matter what. Often, important decisions come in pairs to provide maximum amount of stress. And the truth is, sometimes you just have to decide. You might try to weigh the possibilities and risks ahead of time, but you’ll never really know until you choose one way or another. And then, you just have to roll with the results. You’re not going to make the right decision every time. But at least you made a decision and your life is moving in some direction. A lot of people (like me) are so afraid of making a bad decision or a mistake that they never make decisions at all. They get stuck in the same routines, the same life, job, career forever, and its not what they really want. But its comfortable, and its livable. What people often don’t realize is that not making a decision is making a decision. A decision not to decide.

Right now I’m at a crossroads in my life–and maybe I’ll always be at a crossroads in my life, maybe everyone is, I’m not sure–and there are multiple decisions I have to make: do I move back home to be closer to my family, or do I forge ahead on this unknown career path in LA? Do I go out with friends and burn through my savings a little faster, or do I stay home and save money, but not friends? Do I want to work in television and film, or do I want to focus my efforts more on my time outside of a career, instead of in it?

There are a lot of decisions to be made, and I hate making decisions. It’s one of the hardest things I have to do on a daily basis. But I want to make the choice right now to decide. As scary as it is, I’m not striving for stagnant. I’m working to make my mark in this world–not in a selfish way (though obviously my motivation is with my own happiness in mind) but as a way to give back to the world. I’m striving to provide my talents in a useful way to society in a light that will hopefully be beneficial, not negative. If I find a comfortable job and paycheck and just snuggle in now, that’ll never happen. So I’ve made a choice to take the rocky road instead of the smooth vanilla, and hopefully these twists and turns will lead to something good in the long run.

Until next Thursday,

Yours truly,


Mo Money, Mo Problems?

Alright, I know it’s distasteful and all to talk money, but let’s talk money.

Isn’t it nice to have money? Actually, let’s be real–it’s less about having money, and more about being able to do the things that only money can buy.

Like for example, traveling. Maybe even more specifically, traveling to visit your family, so that you don’t feel quite so much like you’re half a world away from the ones you love.

Or, you know, living in a house with two jacuzzis. Cause, like, the first one is for regular use, and the second is for when Benedict Cumberbatch comes to visit, you know, like breaking out the fine china.

Don’t get me wrong–I knowingly made the tough and possibly irrational decision to be poor–like, dirt poor–in the hopes of finding a career that I can love, but this whole working for free thing is really kind of a bummer and a total demotivator. (“Come on, Tasha, you have to get up early tomorrow morning because you don’t want to be late for work!” “Why, so they can fire me from my free labor?”)

And what’s worse is that we live in a society that perpetuates and expands the income gap. The phrase, “Money makes Money” has never wrung more true when you think about the stock market, retirement funds, or even starting a business or getting an education. If you want to save, invest, or create, you have to have money. And usually lots of it.

But I guess the thing that irritates me and gets me down the most is that I have to spend money to work for free. Honestly, getting college credit in exchange for an internship is the most ridiculous concept that capitalism has ever pooped out. I mean, it’s fantastic for employers: companies don’t even have to outsource for those teeny-tiny, mundane tasks that usually clog up workflow for paid employees. But for the students doing the internships? I’d honestly like to Chuck-Norris-round-house-kick whoever the bureaucratic you-know-what is who came up with this as the solution to preventing labor lawsuits.

I feel I must clarify here that this isn’t to say that internships aren’t valuable and students shouldn’t do them. I’d be a hypocrite if I said that, seeing as I’ve had three internships of my own. I’m not even saying that all internships need to be paid–only one of mine did. Internships are actually really useful for several reasons; my personal two reasons for choosing to do all of my internships were the industry experience and getting acquainted with what a career in said industry might look like (publishing, film, marketing, etc) and the job connections. Hey, if you’re working for free, you gotta hope that it’ll lead to something paid at some point.

All I’m saying is that 99% of us young’uns looking for internships really don’t mind working for free if we’re getting exposure to the career world we want to be a part of. But 100% are pissed when that non-existent check turns into a very real tuition bill. Honestly, how does it makes sense at all that I have to pay to work for free? You could say that I’m “paying for the experience,” but that’s a crock of bologna. Yes, I am getting experience, but 98% of that is getting coffee, filling out excel sheets, writing up mundane documents that I don’t need three months to master, etc–things that sure, I might need to know how to do in the work world, but not things that paid employees spend a lot of time doing.

And it’s not like any of us need the college credit, either. Here again, 99% are only taking this or that “internship” credit class so that we can make it past the interview rounds and actually let our bosses see our potential. Most colleges don’t require an internship credit to graduate, and most don’t even require a certain number of extra courses to graduate, so then taking this course not only risks damage to GPAs and sucking my savings dry, but it’s an extra thing on top of already crazy/busy college lifestyles.

Moral of the story (and the short version of this whole rant):

99% of us don’t mind working for free in exchange for industry experience. But the second you tack on a college education requirement, the second I begin to hate you.

Circling back to this idea of having lots of money, I realize that money is never really going to solve any of my problems. In fact, the more money you have, the more stress you have to deal with by keeping track of it all (I’m supposing, seeing as I have no first-hand experience with that). And honestly? I really like being poor in the sense that it grounds me; it forces me to really think about what’s necessary and what’s fluff, and really appreciate simple living. It helps me focus on the most important thing in life: my relationships with other people.

But it does burn me that I’m burning through my savings so that I can provide free labor via coffee runs and menial tasks. It’s especially frustrating when everything has a dollar sign in front of it, including things like writing classes that might help jumpstart my career and health costs to take care of my physical and mental well-being.

And you hear things like, “Everybody goes through it,” and “It’s what you gotta do” like free labor is some right of passage. What I find particularly discouraging about this is that, even though everyone sympathizes, no one has done anything to change it. It’s like hitting my head against a brick wall repeatedly while someone stands by and says, “Oh yeah, I definitely went through a period where I was in those shoes…guess you gotta just keep working at it.”

But then again, what can you do, besides raising a voice  to the heavens and hoping your prayers are carried across the wind? Idk, too poetic?

Alright, I gotta stop ranting before I put another abbreviation in the kitchen. (in the kitchen? I’ll stop talking now.)

Yours truly,


Why being an extroverted introvert is just the worst

I’m sorry, I’m having difficulty concentrating on this post because I’m lost in all the spooky, campy goodness that is Disney’s Tower of Terror.

That’s what happens when you are your own entire category of social habitry that you’ve made up to describe your inconsistent social tendencies–you try to type a blog and reminisce in childhood Disney nostalgia at the same time.

Man, that was a lot of ‘your’s and ‘you’s in that one sentence.

Being an ‘extroverted introvert’ probably seems paradoxical.  In a lot of ways, it is.  But all it really means is that I still pick being a kid versus actually doing adult things like ‘going out’ or ‘talking to people’.

But seriously, life is hard when you want to be a hermit, but you get too lonely to do so.

Probably the hardest part of being an extroverted introvert is the fact that you’re good at neither.  All of your life plans seem a bit out of your control. And the few that are in your control, you happen to mess up, anyways.  Let me give you a few examples of what it’s like to be an extroverted introvert:

1) You have zero plans, all the time.  And the one night you’re actually looking forward to your zero plans, at least five different people text you asking if you want to make plans.

2) You forget your phone in the car, or the bedroom, or just generally your phone is anywhere but with you the entire day, and when you finally find it and check your missed messages, you find that no one has contacted to you all day.

3) You find yourself unable to sympathize with anyone.

4) You find yourself able to reason with those who are unable to sympathize with anyone.

5) Your best friend is a dog that doesn’t live with you.

6) You are great with kids and can hold intellectual conversation with persons 10+ years older than yourself, but you have no idea how to talk to people your own age.

7) You don’t understand today’s rap lyrics.

8) People come to you for advice on things that you have absolutely no authority or experience with because you’ve spent so much time contemplating life in general that you are a quantifiable expert on all things big and small.

9) You find every encounter with the opposite sex, and most encounters with the same sex, painfully awkward.

10) Your life is Chandler Bing, period.

And that’s just the short version.  A more in-depth description of my life would also involve intense Youtube surfing, speaking like a stanza of a Lewis Carroll poem, and the sad realization that real-life celebrities are not as fascinating as their character counter-parts.  Sometimes I ask myself, “How did I become this way?” and then I realize I’m speaking out loud, and I should probably stop before I become certifiably crazy.

But really, the worst part about being an extroverted introvert is that no matter how hard you try or don’t try, making friends or getting rid of them just never works.  It’s a double-edged sword of loneliness and failed attempts at hermit-ness.

Oh, life. How you tease me.

That’s really all I had to say.  I’m going to go sit in a corner and pretend like the world around me doesn’t exist until it’s my turn to hold my nephew again. (Babies are the best, whether you’re a hermit or not.)

Yours truly,


To Nobody, Who Reads My Blog:

After a two week hiatus, Nobody is probably wondering why I haven’t posted.  Oops, sorry I didn’t forewarn you, Nobody, but my summer internship wrapped up two weeks ago and I spent my first Friday that I missed posting a blog on the road and the second Friday hanging out in South Dakota on vacation.

I know. South Dakota, right?  What in the world could possibly keep me away from blogging while on “vacation” (haha) in South Dakota?

Well, for one, it’s South Dakota. Internet is like a smelly Parisian cheese that the locals don’t know how to cook with yet.  And two, South Dakota is actually awesome, if you like nature, but you don’t actually like nature.

What does that mean?  Well, it means I had an awesome time admiring the beauty of the Black Hills and the epic-ness of the Badlands without actually having to deal with Mother Nature’s little–let’s call them “buts”.  As in, “I love laying out at night and gazing at the immensity of sky and stars, BUT chigger bites really suck.” As in, “I had such a blast camping last weekend, living outdoors and really making a go of it, BUT that run-in with the [insert animal here (possible answers: ferocious bear, ginormous tarantula, rattle snake, rabid squirrel, etc)] was horrible.”  As in, I like you, outdoors, I really do. But it’s not you, it’s me. But actually it’s you.

Actually, South Dakota is surprisingly pretty great.  Who knew all this time I was visiting family in south central South Dakota all I had to do was mosey on over to the west border and there’d be ample amounts of touristy things for me to do. Let me give you a visual: most of South Dakota is like Western Kansas. There’s nothing, and then there’s something. But usually that something is nothing as well, so you have to use your imagination. If you like rural, it’s great.  I for one, enjoy the nostalgia of it. However most sane people will probably live their entire lives never even caring to visit even out of curiosity. I don’t blame you. Though you’re missing out on some of the best pizza, ever.  However, however, when you hit Rapid City–or maybe even Wall Drug–it’s like, suddenly you’re in Colorado, and not just the scenic but boring East side. You’re in the Rockies, baby. And wilderness just got real.  Except for the big billboards every half-mile advertising yet another gold mine tour.  Woo-hoo. (Actually, they’re pretty cool.)

So, yeah. That’s how I spent my one week of glorious summer vacation. In the Badlands and the Black Hills. Seeing Mount Rushmore. Touring really old mines. Getting some Black Hills Gold. Spending valuable bonding time with my parents. (I know, seems like a strange thing for someone my age to say, but family is really important to me. Maybe I’ll dive into that more in another post).

It was really fun. And now I have to move back to school. I should be excited. I should have senioritis that makes me really want to get this done and over with. But I kind of want to chain myself to a tree and never leave. I have no idea what’s happening next. O.O It’s a big world out there. And I’m a small person. (No, really, I’m pretty short. Not petite or under five-foot, but I’m still short.)

That got deep. (At least for me; I’ll probably go contemplate the world in my head now when I’m done writing this.)

Anyways, as with the end of my summer comes the end of my goal to update my blog every Friday. I think I did a pretty decent job, don’t you? I only had one week where I posted on Saturday instead (not counting my two-week hiatus). I think I’ll set another day for updating posts.  However, once again I’m not sure what day that’ll be on. Probably not Fridays. Fridays are weird during the school year. I spend a lot of Friday nights watching YouTube clips of the Ellen DeGeneres show while my hair is wet. (I sound like such a catch, don’t I?)

Okay, enough of what has turned into a confessional rambling about my life. Go do something with yours. And then come back and read my blog again in a week.

Thanks, Nobody. I appreciate your support. You da best.

Yours truly,


P.S. Here‘s a little sample of how my weekend went.

Ten Reasons Why “The Goonies” is the Greatest Film Ever Made

I’m sorry, but before you read this post, you’re going to have to do the Truffle Shuffle. Do it.


Do it.

Okay, now on to business.

Last night I spent a wonderful evening enjoying the company of friends and watching my favorite movie of all time, The Goonies. (which is also why I didn’t make my personal deadline of posting this on Friday)  And it got me thinking, why do I love this movie so much?  I mean, I obviously can spot movie gold when I see it, but can everyone else?  Why isn’t this movie everyone’s favorite?  Because it darn well should be.  So, to prove my point, I came up with ten really good reasons why The Goonies is the best film ever, no contest, no questions asked:

1. The soundtrack is epic.

Imagine a soundtrack chosen by Cyndi Lauper and full of bright and awesome ’80’s songs, and you have The Goonies soundtrack.  Not to mention, it was originally released on LP and cassette tape.  That’s pretty hipster.  But the real magic is in the movie score. Not only is the music full of that awesome ’80’s movie sound, but it complements the tone of the film and each scene in ways that most other films just don’t get.  And let’s just put it this way: the first time I watched the film, I was certain that John Williams had composed the score.  Kudos to you, Dave Grusin.



You can’t tell me you don’t love pirates and treasure.  I mean, Pirates of the Caribbean was a thing for how many years?

3.  The screenplay has teens and tweens pegged down to an art.

You can’t deny that those kids, and that dialogue was acting gold.  Come on, Brand and Andy trying to make-out every time they come within a two-foot radius of each other, despite the fact that they are lost underground, on the run from the Fratellis to save their own lives?  That’s such a teenager thing.  And Mikey, the cheerleader of the group, having such a ‘Disney innocence’ to the way he believes in the power of being a goonie.


“It’s our time down here!” Adorbs.

4. Every character is fun.

You ever watch those movies where you just think, “There are too many people in this film.” James Bond movies are the ones that do it for me.  They just always have too many characters with zero personality, or the same character archetype constantly being reused. The Goonies is most definitely not that way.  You have loveable Chunk, who is the inevitable tag-along, constantly messing things up on accident, and being quite hilarious at it the same time.  And cute, funny Data, who brings humor and diversity to the group, as well as that typical ’80’s inventiveness that channels a sort-of Back-to-the-Future vibe (though the films came out in the same year). Then there’s Mouth and Stef, who bring all of the sarcasm and sass to the group.  And you can’t forget Sloth, the beloved, soft-hearted monster-man. No matter who it is, each character is genuine and brings more laughs to every situation.


5. The Truffle Shuffle:


Need I say more?

6. Josh Brolin is in it.



7. Samwise Gamgee is in it.Image


I know, it’s a little surprising to see how Mikey grew up, but it’s okay, because he helped save Middle-earth.

8. It’s possibly the most quotable movie, ever.

I mean, come on. Come oooonnnnnn.  <–Get it?

“Heeeeyyyy Yooouuuu Guuuuuyyyssss.”

“Booby traps. You mean, Booby traps?  Booby traps! That’s what I said!”

“First, you gotta do the truffle shuffle.”

“Andy! You Goonie!”

“Goonies never say die!”

“Down here, it’s our time. It’s our time down here!”

“Baby? Baby? Ruth!  Baby?”

“Sloth love Chunk!”

“Look at all the Rich Stuff!”

Should I go on?

9. The bad guys are awesome.

You know why I always love Home Alone and Home Alone 2 so much as a child? Because the bad guys were stupidly funny, but they put up with a lot. The Fratellis are like that too, only a little less stupid. Plus, they got spunk. And Francis has a toupee.


“I don’t wear a hair piece!”

10. It’s a memorable homage to childhood.

Finally, the top reason The Goonies is just too awesome not to be the greatest film ever made is that the film is a celebration of everything that is great about being a kid.  In a very reality-based, modern take on Peter Pan, the film is about adventure, imagination, friendship, and never really having to grow-up.  Made with kids, for kids (it’s PG13, so maybe not little kids) and especially kids at heart, The Goonies is that little bit of childhood dreaming that you never really give up or want to forget.  Remember that end scene when the pirate ship sails away? Chills. Or how about Mikey’s speech:

So great.

So there you have it, ten reasons why The Goonies is the greatest film ever made, my favorite movie, and why it should be yours, too.  If you still disagree, then you must not have ever seen the movie, and you are sorely missing out.  Go watch it. Right now.

Yours truly,


GSS and the Plight of the College Kid

In honor of winter break, and finals week being over, I’ve decided to post this little gem that’s been sitting in my drafts for quite some time now. (Naturally, it’s not finished.  As you will soon see is appropriate for this post, I got a bit busy and a bit distracted by school and never went back to finish it. Now I can’t remember exactly what I wanted to say.  Ahh, that GSS. It’ll get you every time.) :

Wellllllllll just in case it hasn’t been clear, I’ve been neglecting my duties as a writer and wanna-be blogger.  It seems that in the crazy course of events I like to consider as ‘life’, blogging gets pushed to the back burner as I attempt to meet all the deadlines that come with being someone overly obsessed with following deadlines.  I sometimes like to refer to it as the “Good Student Syndrome” or, “GSS”. (Don’t worry–I’ve never actually called it that. I just made that up.)  But it does seem like a pretty good way to describe someone like me–a workaholic, over-achieving nerd who craves the idea of being on top, even when that ‘on top’ is a little letter on a piece of paper that I’m paying $20,000 a year for anyways.

Having GSS means two things: 1) Your professors love you.  Even when they hate you, they love you. You make them look good. All in all, you are pretty much the tuxedo of students.  Sleek and eye-catching, yet stuffy and slightly uncomfortable.  (Still embarrassed about all those times you thought you knew the answer?  What about those extra, unnecessary hours spent mulling over details you later found out were irrelevant to the tests? Yep, good times.)  And 2) Your social life sucks, and you know it.  Between  studying, classes, homework, studying, discussing, student groups, studying, and eating, you feel like you hardly have time to breathe, let alone actually enjoy yourself. And the times you do spend away from a text book, you’re regretting it, thinking about all the different things you need to get done and could be doing at that very exact moment.  It’s torturous, and I’ve realized it’s a double-edged sword–you see, it doesn’t matter whether you are at home working, or out with friends, people suffering from GSS are always thinking about the “Other Option”.  The “Other Option” is the dilemma designed by the collegiate educational system to mess with student psychology and break us down so that we submit.  The “Other Option” simply refers to the fact that no matter where you are, you are unhappy.  (If this were Panem, the “Other Option” would be the work of Capital hands.) The scenario goes a little something like this:

Suzy is a student studying for a final exam. She has been sitting at her desk without moving from her chair for almost three days.  However, she is taking twice as long as usual to read her textbook and notes because all she can think about is visiting with her friends. Finally, as if by God’s will, Becky calls and wants Suzy to go to the diner with her.  Suzy, after a few minutes hesitation, agrees.  And suddenly, the darkness begins.  Suzy goes to the diner, but all she can think about is how much more work she has to do.  Soon, Becky is out of conversation topics and Suzy finds herself  discussing every last  assignment Suzy has had for the past month. Becky, trying to be the good friend that she is, silently listens and nods at the appropriate time, all the while thinking, “Why did I invite Suzy again? All she ever does is talk about school work.” And before you know it, Suzy is back at her desk, beating herself up on the inside wishing she would have found something more interesting to discuss, while Becky is thinking about how she needs to expand her social group.

Hence, the “Other Option.” No matter where Suzy is, she’s thinking about the other things she could be doing. In this case, while doing homework, she’s thinking about the diner. While at the diner, she’s thinking about homework.  It’s like a terrible mental monster that moves in under your twin-sized, dorm-room bunk-bed and never leaves.  It’s terrifying, and highly unattractive.  Let me tell you, between GSS and the “Other Option,” good luck finding love. Unless, of course, your life happens to play out like a Disney fairytale come true, in this case the perimeters being that you some how get locked into the library book stacks and ‘stud’ious   Prince Charming happens to need a book for his research project in the very same section you’re trapped in and comes to the rescue…unintentionally. Let’s not forget to mention that Prince Charming is probably also suffering from GSS, which means he probably doesn’t know how to feign interest in dating anyways.

Thus, the plight of the good student.  Sure we get straight A’s, and sure we’ll probably (hopefully) be CEO’s and top executives, your children’s professors, the person who invented that new contraption in your home that you simply can’t live without, the person who discovers the cure for cancer, that guy that won jeopardy, the woman who turned the world towards feminism, and the people who negotiated peace in the Middle East, but the point is, so will those students who don’t suffer from GSS. It’s all a mind game. The whole thing is a silly little mind game.  Don’t let it get to you.


And there you have it.  Appropriate considering the long nights of studying we college kids just survived, no?  Do you agree?  Do you also suffer from GSS and the “Other Option”? Let me know. Maybe we can start a help-group, but only after I get all of my homework for the next semester done, okay?


Yours truly,