Decisions

Today I want to spend a little time talking about growing up and having to make decisions. You know, I think the real separation between God and man didn’t come with God casting Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden, it came when God presented Adam and Eve with the first choice (er, command?) and the naked super duo made the first decision in humanity.

This, right here, should be evidence enough that human beings are naturally poor decision makers. And yet, here lies humanity, full of choices and decisions that must be made. I bet heaven is a decision-less place–very simple, very easy.  People should never, under any circumstances, be given free reign over their own actions. That is how jackasses are born.

Am I starting to sound a bit…communistic? No? Good. Thanks, comrade.

I hate making decisions. Decision making is like a terrifying game of Russian Roulette, except you’re blindfolded, have ear plugs in, and are tied up. So in other words, decision making is attempting to do something while you have no idea what the hell is going on.

Of course, with that definition, decision making could also be like my blog…

What I really mean, though, is that life is going to chuck decisions at your head no matter what. Often, important decisions come in pairs to provide maximum amount of stress. And the truth is, sometimes you just have to decide. You might try to weigh the possibilities and risks ahead of time, but you’ll never really know until you choose one way or another. And then, you just have to roll with the results. You’re not going to make the right decision every time. But at least you made a decision and your life is moving in some direction. A lot of people (like me) are so afraid of making a bad decision or a mistake that they never make decisions at all. They get stuck in the same routines, the same life, job, career forever, and its not what they really want. But its comfortable, and its livable. What people often don’t realize is that not making a decision is making a decision. A decision not to decide.

Right now I’m at a crossroads in my life–and maybe I’ll always be at a crossroads in my life, maybe everyone is, I’m not sure–and there are multiple decisions I have to make: do I move back home to be closer to my family, or do I forge ahead on this unknown career path in LA? Do I go out with friends and burn through my savings a little faster, or do I stay home and save money, but not friends? Do I want to work in television and film, or do I want to focus my efforts more on my time outside of a career, instead of in it?

There are a lot of decisions to be made, and I hate making decisions. It’s one of the hardest things I have to do on a daily basis. But I want to make the choice right now to decide. As scary as it is, I’m not striving for stagnant. I’m working to make my mark in this world–not in a selfish way (though obviously my motivation is with my own happiness in mind) but as a way to give back to the world. I’m striving to provide my talents in a useful way to society in a light that will hopefully be beneficial, not negative. If I find a comfortable job and paycheck and just snuggle in now, that’ll never happen. So I’ve made a choice to take the rocky road instead of the smooth vanilla, and hopefully these twists and turns will lead to something good in the long run.

Until next Thursday,

Yours truly,

tlc

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