An Open Letter To Josh Hutcherson

Dear Josh,

If I ever have the glorious opportunity to meet you in person and somehow befriend you, and then you find/take the time to Google search me, find this website, and subsequently this post, I will seriously regret writing this. Or if you read this, and then I meet you, same thing. Works both ways. Until then, here it is:

Dear Josh,

J-dawg, J-Hutch, Mr. Hutcherson, “The Hutch”, J-Law’s B.F.F.–however you wish to be addressed, I’ve got my eye on you. You’ve basically grown-up on the screen, starring in everything from that cute little Manhattan Love Story (or whatever it was called–I vaguely remember you riding a scooter in literally every scene of that movie) and Bridge to Terabithia, to JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH (This movie has always struck me as needing to be entirely in Caps), to what everyone has been calling your “breakout role” in The Hunger Games. Yes, your “breakout role” because apparently you were some unknown, young actor who hadn’t caught a break before Peeta took over your life. In this world, Winter’s Bone doesn’t exist, either.

Lordy, how long have you been Peeta? I feel like I read a Seventeen interview you did with Liam Hemsworth where you guys where Bromancing so much for each other I got the vague feeling I was at a Frat party. And I haven’t read Seventeen Magazine since I was like, obviously, 20.

And now you’re dipping your toes into the whole producer’s ring with this video/trailer/competition thing, and let me tell you, it was so tempting to try to organize some help and film myself getting dressed in drag and catcalled in the street. But I didn’t do it because I’m lazy when it comes to organizing something complicated like filming with multiple people, so sorry. You missed out on the biggest “breakout role” of your life because I was lazy. I hope we can still be friends after this.

Anywho, I won’t chit-chatter your time away because I know you are a very busy person. I just wanted to let you know that the real reason I’m writing this is because I find you very attractive, and I’ve been very disappointed that none of the celebrities I’ve seen and interacted with thus far during my time in LA have been you. Get your act together, man. I see Justin Bieber everywhere. Literally, EVERYWHERE. For someone who almost got deported to Canada, it’s amazing how much that kid gets around (all innuendoes intended…I think).

So, until we FINALLY meet,

A blogger with a crush and limited ideas,

tlc

 

Published by

Leave a Reply